Humiliation
by BansheeFromHell
Summary: Hi, my name is Nikki. Why am I wearing a French Maid's outfit, you ask? 'Cuz Xemnas is an a**hole, that's why.


**Banshee: Hi everybody! I was bored during college one day, and I wrote a little something. It was originally a skit, but I turned it into a little oneshot. Hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix does. I only own my OC, Nikki, and the plot.**

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I know I say this a lot, but this is how a lot of days in the World That Never Was start out… normal.

I was in my room, as usual, playing video games when a portal appeared in the corner of the room. Roxas was supposed to meet with me after his mission so we could both play together, so I looked at the portal expecting the young Nobody to walk out. However, my smile turned to a frown when I saw Saïx step out of the portal instead. Obviously he was here to give me another mission, otherwise he would be as far away from me as humanly possible… can't imagine why.

"Would it kill you to knock first?"

"I am your superior; I don't need to knock." He responded coolly.

"I hate it when you randomly pop in like that." I complained, quickly pressing a combination of buttons on my controller. The blonde girl on the screen blocked her opponent's attack with her shield, then dealt a blow with her sword, taking a chunk out of her opponent's health. "What if I was changing?"

Saïx ignored the battle cries on the television, and said, "I could care less what you were doing. I want you at attention and ready to receive your orders. Now get up."

"But Saïx…~" I whined. "One more minute, please? I'm almost done with this fight."

"Shut that thing off. _Now_." He growled.

"Whatever you say, closet pervert." I said, ignoring Saïx's glare.

Pouting like a little kid, I shut the game system off. I stood up and dusted off my pants before turning to face the berserker.

"Okay, what does Ol' Mansex want me to do this time?" I asked.

His eye twitched. "That's 'Superior' to you."

"Okay, fine, don't get your panties in a knot." His eye twitched again. I repeated my question with fake excitement, "What wonderful mission did the Glorious Superior assign for me on this fine day?"

"Hopefully it's somewhere far away."

"Aw, what's the matter? Don't you like me?"

"I find you insufferable."

"Love you too, Berserker Boy."

Saïx's eye twitches again.

"Are you gonna give me my orders, or what?" I asked.

"Of course." Saïx said calmly, resisting the urge to choke me. "Here."

He took a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to me, being careful not to touch me in the process. I took the paper from him and unfolded it, my eyes going from normal to wide as a dinner plate in a millisecond.

"_WHAT_!" I exclaimed. "You gotta be _KIDDING_ me!"

"I'm afraid I am not kidding you." The berserker said, my exclamation not affecting him at all. If I didn't know any better, I would say that he enjoyed it when fate turned against me. "Those orders came directly from Xemnas himself. I have to say, when it comes to your missions, he gets very creative.."

"He's being an asshole, that's what he's doing!" I yelled. "There's no way I'm doing this!"

"You have two choices: Follow your orders or be destroyed."

I glared at him. "I strongly believe that you two get together and conspire against me, and do everything in your power to make every waking moment of my stay in this castle a living hell.."

"You're missing a few key points, but you're definitely on the right track."

My glare intensified, even if it didn't affect him.

"You look angry." He said.

"No shit, Sherlock." I growled back.

"Do you hate me?" He asked.

I didn't hate him quite yet, but I was definitely getting close. "Getting there."

"Well then my work is done. Enjoy your mission."

And with that, he warped out of the room, no doubt with a satisfied smirk on his face. I took a long look at the note, reading it over and over to make sure that it was serious. It was written in Xemnas' handwriting, so it was definitely serious. My eyebrow twitched angrily.

"I'm gonna wring that bastard's neck.." I growled, crushing the note in my fist.

In the castle's living room, I pushed the vacuum cleaner back and forth in an aggressive fashion, imagining that the little specks of dust were little tiny Superiors being sucked up by the vortex of doom. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see some of the other members ridiculing me in their own unique way.

Larxene was laughing, Zexion refused to look at me, Vexen shook his head and left the room, Xaldin just said "I don't even want to know…" and continued chopping up vegetables for tonight's dinner, Lexaeus didn't say anything, Demyx blushed, Roxas had that look on his face that said "Oh no, not again…", Marluxia was sitting there with an amused smirk on his face, Xigbar and Axel were ogling me like horny schoolgirls, Luxord was surfing through the channels on the television, Saïx stood in the corner smirking, and Xemnas was in his office.

Why were they reacting this way? I'll tell you why.

My asshole of a Superior ordered me to not only vacuum the floor, but to do it while wearing a French Maid's outfit.

That's right. A French Maid's outfit.

The top was low-cut, showing little over an inch of cleavage, and the skirt was embarrassingly short. My underwear could easily be seen if I bent over.

"I've never been so turned on by a woman cleaning in my LIFE!" Xigbar proclaimed, leaning forward on his chair to get a better look. "Hey babe, why don't you come clean _my_ room next?"

"Hm… Nikki has nice legs.." Zexion remarked, more to himself than anyone else.

"Nice panties." Axel said with a smirk.

At Axel's remark, all the blood rushed to my face, turning my cheeks red. The others laughed as I turned around and glared at the redhead, pulling the back of my skirt down to hide my underwear.

"I thought you hated pink." Marluxia added on to Axel's comment.

See? This is _exactly_ why I hate skirts…

"_God, I'm surrounded by a bunch of freakin' perverts…"_ I thought angrily.

Luxord looked over in my direction and smirked devilishly, cooking up a plan in his mind. Playing out his little scheme, he took the remote control in his hand and tossed it halfway across the room.

"Pardon me love, but it seems I've dropped the remote. Would you be a dear and get it for me?" He asked in the most charming way possible.

At Luxord's question, the vacuum stopped moving. I turned around and gave them all a menacing glare, clutching the vacuum's handle tightly in my hand. My grip on the handle was so tight, my knuckles were turning white. Before anyone could blink, I lifted the vacuum off the floor and chucked it at the Nobodies, and screamed, "GET IT YOURSELF, YOU OLD PERVERT!"

The vacuum collided with the couch, the impact creating an explosion of dust, lint, and vacuum parts. The members that managed to avoid the explosion were shocked, or as closed to shocked as a Nobody could get. I was definitely going to catch crap for this later, but I didn't give a rat's ass. Grabbing Roxas' arm, I pulled him out of his seat, and growled, "Come on, Roxas. Let's go play video games."

Being too freaked out by my display of aggression to object, the young Nobody nodded his head, trying his best to keep his eyes on my face. I stalked out of the room, the dual Keyblade wielder in tow, heading straight for my room where I could change into some normal clothes and spend the rest of the day playing video games until my thumbs bled.

"Xemnas is gonna pay for this…" I grumbled to myself as I dragged a blushing Roxas down the hall.


End file.
